Bittersweet
by Guardian Radiance
Summary: Love is something precious and valuable. But what happens when Roy lets outside opinions ruin what he has with Ed? RoyxEd Poem fic
1. Bittersweet Roy's POV

Me: Hello everyone! I'm back!

Ed: Finally!

Roy: Ed...You know why she has been so busy lately.

Ed: I know...

Me: My Mommy is pregnant *squeals happily*

Roy: * smiles * Ain't that cute?

Ed: I want to have a baby...* looks down at his belly *

Me: I can arrange that!

Roy:*eyes wide*

Me: So my Mommy is on bed rest so I've had to help with all the cooking and cleaning...

Ed: So don't blame her!

Roy: Enjoy this poem while we get the rest of her fics updated!

* * *

Bittersweet

Why is it that I care more about the opinions of others then your own?

Is it really so hard to concentrate on you alone?

My love please know that you mean the world to me

But my life is forever shaped by the opinions of others.

I cry and plead for you to understand

But the hurt in your eyes tells me that you truly don't

Please! Please! Please! Oh please understand!

If only to know that I stand by every word I say

I don't lie, At least not to you

Between us love there was nothing but honesty, a simple truth

Oh Edward, my one and only, just listen

You are my world, you always were and always will be

I love you, I LOVE YOU!

You know that don´t you my dear?

I just don't say it often

At least not when you're awake

But I say it every night

Repeat it countless times as you sleep beside me

I feel your warmth and my heart is full of love

How can this be wrong?

Oh Edward, why do I care what others say?

Why can't I just be content with you in my arms.

I'm such a fool

Yes! I am such a useless fool.

You want us to come out

You love me and want the world to know

But I'm scared of what people will say

The Great Roy Mustang? Gay?

I shake my head no

My fear overwhelming my desire to make you smile

Your eyes cloud with tears and your shoulders slump

Edward, don't walk away from me! Why did I cause you so much pain?

And so I stand here all alone

The rain is so very loud

Lighting flashes and thunder booms

And all I want is to be with you

But you packed your bags and left

Told me your heart couldn't face this pain

The pain that I caused you everyday

Just because I'm so selfish and afraid.

Edward....Edward please!

Just come back to me!

I'd give anything, even my next breath

Just to see you smile, hear you laugh

I'm so cold here as I lay alone in our bed

So cold with out you

So lonely without you

Come back....

Tears fall down my face

It's now that I finally see the error of my ways

You mean more to me then words can saw

Why did I let myself push you away

Because you were my light in the darkness

The reason I woke up each and everyday

You're the reason I wanted to be Führer

To protect you each and everyday

I curse my weak will

I don't care what other people think anymore!

I just care about you! Only you!

My angel with fragile, broken wings.

But I pushed you far away

You left with tears in your eyes and a broken heart

You whispered to be the words I shall never forget

"Good bye Roy. For now and forever."

How could I have been so blind

You were everything that I ever needed

You were my world and the reason for my future

But I continued to hurt you and you finally got up and left

Tears, tears, tears

I can't see anything but the hurt that I've caused

Edward, Edo, Ed

Please come back to me, I finally have seen what's right

But you will never come back will you my heart?

Forever is for good

I can't forgive myself for what I've done to you

And I know you'll never forgive me too

I stare into my glass of whiskey

And I'm reminded of your hollow eyes on the day you left

Grief fills my heart anew

A stab at a wound still new

Silver. This gun is silver like your right arm

The arm that was so gentle and yet so strong around me as we made love

I shall never again feel it or touch your body so intimately

And so I hold this gun close to my heart

This gun and my whiskey

Remind me of you

And yet are the complete opposite of you

Sinful in contrast to your innocence

Edward, Edward, Edward

My lovely angel

I cry for you to return to me

I shall work to bring you back into my arms.

But for now the bottle and this gun are my constant companions

Alcohol makes me forget that you are gone

In my dreams you are with me

Like I want you to be

I promise you Edward

I won't give into temptation

I won't pull the trigger

But in my heart I know one thing

Without you life is not worth living.


	2. Bittersweet Ed's POV

Me: I decided that Roy's poem needed a companion!

Ed: So this is a response to Roy's poem?

Roy: Interesting

Me: You won't think it's "interesting" after you read it.

Ed: * unconcerned * So are there gonna be any others?

Me: Yup! I think about two or three other poems.

Roy: * frowns as he reads * Ed...

Me: Whoops....We better get on with this before I have a depressed Roy

Ed:Yeah... But he's cute

Me: Yeah....Too cute...NOW ON WITH THE CHAPTER!

* * *

Bittersweet Ed's POV

I was in love and I still am

A passionate flame burning so bright

I would give up anything just to see my love truly smile

That true smile that showed me his love and devotion

I could hear the whispers of society everyday

Not directed at me since I had never said a thing

To love someone of the same gender is a sin

An abomination to be taken and removed

But I'm not an abomination, that I knew well

I wasn't swayed by the opinions of others

I knew I was gay, at least with you

I love you and damn it! I still do

But you were swayed my dear Roy

Society's opinions mattered more then your own

A small fraction of the world thought that our love was wrong

But it's not! Can't you see?

I wanted to come out, I didn't want to hide

My love for you couldn't be kept bottled inside

I asked you to make it official

I wanted the world to know that we were together

You sat frozen for a long time

I could see the fear shining so brightly in your eyes

You shook your head, denying me my wish

Whispered to me to please understand.

But what is there to understand!

Roy Mustang, you're a fucking coward!

I stepped away from you, feeling my heart breaking

No, I couldn't, wouldn't, stay by your side anymore

I couldn't handle your rejection

Didn't you see how your denial hurt me?

I just wanted the world to finally know that you were mine

And for everyone to know that I was yours

So I left, left you alone with your useless fears

Who cares what others say?

When what we feel is so very real

Love like ours should be shown, not hidden my dear

To Risembool I headed, back to my roots as they say

Greeted my brother and his new bride

Happy like I knew I could never be

At least not anymore

The entire town knew the signs of my heartbreak

Knew of my relationship with another man

They never judged, to them it was normal

I was raised among couples of the same gender

Together, as a community, we built a house

But in my heart I knew it would never be a home

My home was by the side of the one I loved

The one that so easily shattered my heart

So now I sit here on the window seat I've come to love

Staring up at the storm raging in the skies above

Feeling so very alone and cold

Yet stubbornly staying where I am now

I will not go back

Even if I want to with all that I am

Roy, oh my dear gentle flame

You've caused me more pain then words can say

Oh how many days have gone by?

It feels like forever since I last saw you though it's only been 6 months

My dear Roy, I feel lost without you

But I felt so lost even when I stayed

Roy! Couldn't you see?

The whispers came from only a few

Most people are supportive, encouraging

Welcome love in all its forms

Sigh

Roy Mustang, how I miss you

Everyday I wonder if I was wrong to leave

Maybe I should have stayed, anything to relieve this pain

But the pain of separation

Is no match for the pain of rejection

If you had truly loved me

You would have come for me by now

I will wait for you here

That is if you ever want me back

Because I have signed my heart over to you

And I don't think I can get it back

Roy! I want no one else but you!

I love you, I need you

I will wait for you and no one else

I can love no one but you

The rain pounds against my window

As tears fall down my face

I whisper something to you, words drowned out by angry thunder

But I know what I said

Without you life is not worth living

* * *

Me: That's a wrap.

Roy: * depressed *

Ed: I liked it Eli-chan. Fits with Roy's poem

Me: And I like that I ended both poems with the same line....

Ed: * grins * So you did....Nice

Me: Well, hope you like it!


	3. Bittersweet Roy's POV 2

Me: Third chapter!!!!

Ed: You were busy at school huh?

Roy: Shop cycle is pretty boring on the last day.

Me: Yeah, writing RoyxEd angst is more fun!

Roy: Hey!

Ed: Eli-chan!

Me: I started writing smut too okay?

Roy: Okay!!! * sparkly eyes *

Ed: * blushed furiously * Is it the idea that Connie-chan gave you?

Me: Yup. * smirks evilly *

Roy: Which is?

Ed: You don't need to know!

Me: I can't give it away!

Roy: Fine!

Ed: We hope you enjoy the third part!

* * *

Bittersweet Roy's POV 2

Edward James Elric

The name of my one and only

The man I let walk away from me

After I broke his heart in two

I went on with my life, thinking that maybe it was for the best

I did my paperwork, the office dull and gray without your fiery golden temper

Ate lunch in the café where we had our "first" date

I still remember the cinnamon on your lips when I kissed you that autumn day

I made dinner for two and ate for one

Washed the dishes and dried them too

A chore that once upon a time was fun to do with you

And finally I slept alone in a bed made for two

My life hasn't been the same since you left my dear

I just knew it wouldn't be but I had to try

You aren't here to brighten my life

With your laugh of light and smile of love

I have stored the gun away now

And threw the whiskey down the drain

I must be sober when I see you again

And beg for your forgiveness, for your love

I dream about your smile, so brilliant and sweet

Your laugh, husky and low

Your fair skin so soft and warm

And your long hair, it's all of you that I adore

That's it! I'm done!

Done pretending I don't care that you're gone

I miss you so much, there's a hole in my heart

A hole that can only be filled by you my love

Edward, Edward, Edward

My dear radiant angel

I have to find you; have to bring you back into my life

Beside me is where you belong

My memories just won't leave me alone

Each night I'm tortured by visions of you

But it's such a lovely torture, the feel of your skin

My body aching for the taste of your flesh

Don't confuse this with lust!

If you told me too, I would never have sex again with you

But between us it wasn't something as simple as sex

We made love; I made love to you

I worshiped your body

You are something to be cherished and loved

Every sound you made is forever imprinted in my mind, In my soul

Believe me because I have never been more truthful

Oh, how I have missed your soft warmth beside me

A comfort in the darkest night

You look so peaceful as you sleep

My angel; the purity I fight to protect

I found your red coat last night

And, damn it!, it still smelled like you

I broke down, tears falling down my face

How I had missed your scent, I miss you

Edward I will find you

Fall down to my knees and seek your forgiveness

I'd even quit the military if that is what you wish

I know I can't deny you anything

A woman was flirting with me yesterday

And I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything but you

She gave me a flirty smile

And I couldn't help but think that your sheepish smile was far more alluring

She touched me, and I finally snapped

Told her I wasn't interested, I already had a boyfriend

The words had slipped from my lips as naturally as the "I love you" I say repeatedly to you

The woman blinked and looked up at me

Finally she smiled; it was a shock to me my love

She said I was in love and not to let you go

And how right she was, and how right you were!

People would approve of us; our love is pure and strong

And that's why now I'm on this train

Cursing myself in every language I know

I know that you've headed home

To Risembool

I came to my senses 6 months after you left

I hope you haven't replaced me

Love like ours isn't meant to fade away

Edward Elric, I love you

I was a fool for taking so long

And I hope my foolishness hasn't hurt you further

Ah my love

Edo

Edward….

Edward…..

Edward…..

My Edward….Only mine…..

I will win you back even if it takes until the end of time

* * *

Me: Part three is over!!!!!

Roy: Two more to go?

Me: Yup.

Roy: Hey...Where's Ed?

Me: Picking out his costume from all the ones I poofed up for him.

Roy: Oh....Do I get a costume?

Me: * sigh * Yes you do... Go pick it out... *snaps fingers and a closet of costumes appears *

Roy: Yay! I shall find something that makes me look sexy so I shall get laid!

Me: I hope with Ed

Roy: With who else?

Me: True. Go ahead. I'll wrap up.

Roy: Yay! * runs into the closet *

Me: Hope you like this! See ya soon!


	4. Bittersweet Ed's POV 2

Me: Hiya everyone!

Ed: It's my POV again!

Roy: -grabs Ed and hugs him- I'm sorry!

Me: Roy has finally lost it.

Ed: It's just a fic Roy. You know I love you.

Roy: -kisses Ed passionately-

Ed: -kisses back, presses himself closer and clings to Roy-

Me: -fans self- This is supposed to be angst and not it's getting steamy.

Roy: -pushes Ed back against my bedroom wall-

Me:-sighs- I guess I have to write smut now…-smirks-

Ed: -tears himself away from Roy and looks at the readers- Enjoy this new chapter!

Roy: Stop talking Ed. –kisses Ed again-

Me: -watches Ed and Roy fall to the floor- Ummm…..Hope you enjoy this!

* * *

**Bittersweet Ed's POV 2**

Six long months

Has it really been only that long?

It feels like a lifetime has passed; slipped away

But the memory of you will never fade; it'll haunt me to my dying day

Roy, I remember the kisses you stole; the feel your lips on mine

You stole my first kiss and all the ones after

I was yours and you were mine

And back then I thought our love would stand the test of time

I remember when we made love my dear flame

You were so gentle, your hands warm and strong

The heat of your skin and the intoxicating friction

It wasn't about lust; it was about us, about love

Oh Roy, I've said it so many times that it's written on my heart

I love you; I love you forever and ever

But I can no longer say it, my voice is long gone

I haven't said a word since that night; the storm six months ago

I can't say a word; or maybe I won't

Al understands; At least I hope

My heart longs for you to come back my love

But my mind knows not to let you come close again

I can't risk being hurt again

Even when all I want is to see you again

I love you Roy, I truly do

But sometimes I have to do what I need and not what I want

I gave up on a happily ever after

That is only for fairy tales, I've learned it first hand

I was always meant to be alone

I was a fool to believe I could truly be loved!

So I shall no longer wait for you my dark prince

I will be alone, move on with my life

My music my only comfort, a sweet escape

So much like the one I found in your arms dear Roy

The pure notes are my voice now

My emotions bare to those who want to hear

A violin is quiet and sweet; my dreams of love on show

Listen to my melody of heartbreak

I am broken, so far beyond repair

My music is my voice, my life now

However I don't have a heart anymore

It shattered and the pieces were blown away by the winds of betrayal

I don't deserve to be loved

A sinner destined to burn in the flames of hell

I shall eternally dance among the corrupt

The heat, the pain, reminding me of the pleasure of my dearest sin

Oh fair destiny

You are a cruel mistress!

I am your toy; a puppet used

A toy to be thrown away

I can't blame you Roy Mustang

When it's my foolish heart that left me this way

How could I have thought I could find peace?

In the arms of a womanizing son-of-a-bitch

You bastard! How my heart aches at that familiar phrase

I yelled it out, a cover for my feelings; much like your masks

You were the incarnation of sweet, sinful temptation

No wonder so many fell so hard for you

But I didn't see your body

Your looks weren't what caught my eye

It was your intelligence and noble heart

And the horrors of the world that you carry on your shoulders

I guess I saw a more refine version of myself in you

You were the type of person I wanted to be

I fell hard when I saw your broken soul

And I wanted to help you heal

But it's until now that I realize how stupid I was

Could your words of love been only a game?

Did you just want a play thing?

NO! You wouldn't treat me that way!

You called me your angel.

I know I was the only one you gave a nickname too

I can't doubt your love

I can only doubt your pride

It was pride that got between us

Fear of being different

It has never bothered me, I was different since birth

Tell me how many have gold eyes and can talk in sign language by the age of two?

I was a prodigy

Reading anything I could get my hands on

Singing songs I had only heard once before

I was like a diamond in a pile of coals

I can understand

But then again I can't

How come you fear being different?

Why should anyone fear that?

My dear Roy

I am letting you go

I am not meant to be loved

Go find a woman to marry

I will be happy for you

Truly I will

I only want you to know happiness and peace

Like you never could with me

But always remember that you hold my heart to do with as you wish

* * *

Me: At that ends this chapter! Ed and Roy are a little busy right now… -hears moans-

-laughs nervously-

Hope you enjoyed this! Next chapter is up soon!


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